Thursday, February 22, 2018

Why I've been away

I'm finally back!  You may have been wondering why I haven't been blogging or posting since November.

First, I started working as an academic librarian at the end of August.  My work schedule is Sunday-Thursday from 4 pm until 1 am in the morning.  At the time that I accepted my current job, I was working a temp job from 8 am until 3 pm.  So, I was working close to 80 a week until the second week of December.  I also returned to a temp job for the month of January.  It has only been a couple of weeks working only one job!

This has left me with little or no time to do anything except to sleep.

The biggest reason why I have been away is that I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease at the end of October.  Hashimoto's Disease is a disorder in which the immune system turns against its own body's tissues.   Initially, the doctors thought that my cancer was back and it was a relief to know that it wasn't cancer. 
  I've been struggling with sleep deprivation, depression, lack of energy in addition to gaining back the twenty pounds that I lost.  I felt lost and struggled with doctors to find a treatment to help me get back to myself.  It has been a journey to finally start to feel like my old self again.

This has been extremely hard for me as I'm used to having a lot of energy, staying focused and being positive.  The last four months have been rough and I have felt like a failure.  Both to myself and you!  I hesitated reaching out and posting about this due to the depression but mainly because I was ashamed. Being ashamed of putting the weight back on, not sticking to my running routines and training plans, not blogging or posting and being inspirational for myself and you.   I had also had a bad experience with online support in the past and it brought back some painful memories for me.  So, I opted to stay away and try to find a solution to this on my own.  

I now have a treatment plan and am still struggling with some issues but hope to feel more like myself in the next couple of weeks.  I'm learning how to live with an autoimmune disease, how to eat more healthy, how to overcome fatigue and depression. I'm working with a thyroid doctor who is trying some homeopathic remedies along with diet.   I'm starting back at square one again with my running and weight loss however I'm not giving up!

Life is a journey and it is what you make of your journey-who you have on that road, who helps and supports you, what decision you make as you come along to an intersection, etc.  I am used to figuring this out on my own and trying to get better about asking for help and assistance when I need it.  I'm much better about this now then in the past and learning to trust myself more.  This was also a journey in taking a rest from life when I needed to take care of myself.  In the past, I would have struggled through and then given up.  Running has taught me not to give up but rest when necessary, breathe and then start again!  

Thank you for all your support and not giving up on me!  I'm always a Gracious Warrior. Till next time and remember, my journey continues...If you can dream it, you can do it as Walt Disney said!

2 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about your struggles, and glad you are journeying toward better health. It sounds like you have a doctor who listens and will help you along this journey. It's tough to open up about our struggles, and I'm sure our readers appreciate your candor. Here's to good health and healing!

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